Embrace Change and Lead with Intention: Insights from speaker.inspirer.thriver. Parul Somani

Debra (00:00:09) - Well, hello and welcome back to another episode of Have a Seat Conversations with women in the workplace podcast. And boy, have I got a treat for you. Listen, have you ever heard the words make intentional decisions, make decisions with intention? And as many of us are experiencing also in the workplace. Who amongst us raise your hand? Show of hands are also looking at some major changes in your organizations or your corporations or your offices in this summer months. And as we head into summer here in the Northern Hemisphere, or if you're not, as we head into May, June and July the next 90 days, or for some of you, as we are heading into a new fiscal year, you might be staring some potential or some confirmed changes coming your way. Either way, we need to talk about both these subjects, both of these subjects. I think choosing with intent and facing any challenges or changes in the workplace with a stronger mindset are absolutely top of mind, at least in some of the conversations that I've been having.

Debra (00:01:21) - Which is why I am absolutely thrilled for today's episode, because I have the pleasure of chatting with someone who is an expert in both of those areas. She is the incredible Parul Somany. You see, Parul is not your average life and leadership speaker and coach. She is a powerhouse who is all about empowering individuals, teams and businesses to not just survive but thrive. My friend her it's all in the title of her, of her title, which is speaker, inspirer and Thriver right there. As soon as I saw that. when I was learning more about Parul, I was hooked. I'm like, yes, this is someone that we need to have on the show and to have a conversation with. You see, Parul is an acclaimed mindset expert and powerful keynote speaker and advocate trusted by fortune 100 companies and other organizations around the world. Parul has inspired leaders at Oracle, Neiman Marcus Group, Bristol-Myers, and more to thrive in life and leadership. She is reputed for her authentic storytelling, actionable insights, thought provoking questions, and proprietary frameworks including Path of Least Regret and Move Moby for navigating uncertainty, making hard decisions, and embracing change with intention are the topics we cover today.

Debra (00:02:57) - Parul has also been featured in I Don't know, Maybe some platforms or publications you might recognize, such as Forbes, thrive, Global Authority Magazine, The South Asian Times, as well as other podcasts on personal and professional growth. We have it all today. In the short time we have together. Parul really lays it on the line and gives us a wonderful definition of what it means to work with intent or to, I'm sorry, operate with intent, right? As well as to help us embrace change and thrive against all odds or challenges we may face in the workplace. So trust me. Gather some of your colleagues around, get a little brown bag lunch and learn session going because you will want to absolutely share this thought provoking episode with others in your area. You will not want to miss this. So without further ado, here is my conversation with the insightful Miss Parul Somany. Well, thank you, Miss Perel, so much for having a seat with me this afternoon. I am so honestly very excited to have you here on the Have a Seat podcast.

Debra (00:04:14) - You, as I mentioned in our chat before, we hit that big red record button that you are an expertise in so many amazing, empowering and affirming topics based off your life experience and your your work experience that it was so hard to come to to. But in our conversation, I'm really looking forward to just chatting a little bit and hearing your thoughts on two major areas where I think that are affecting women in the workplace today, which is embracing change and helping us to understand what it means to make intentional decisions. So thank you, Miss Parol, for joining me today.

Parul (00:04:50) - Absolutely.

Parul (00:04:51) - Thanks for having me.

Debra (00:04:53) - Thank you. Yes, absolutely. It's so exciting. and I love can I just say that in your bio? I love that you, your title I should say is speaker, inspirer and Thriver love that. I just was so impressed. I'm like, that's what it's about right there, my friend. Done and done. So that and and everything that I've learned about you, that just is a beautiful red bow around everything that you're about.

Debra (00:05:20) - So even more exciting to have you here.

Parul (00:05:22) - Oh. Thank you.

Debra (00:05:24) - Well, let's get right into it, shall we? And let's talk just briefly about your what influenced you to even turn to life and leadership coaching, and your work in helping to empower others to thrive? That is such in some ways, I think, oh my gosh, that's such a heavy lift. But on the other hand, I think know for someone like yourself and, and I have the the pleasure of learning a little bit about you, but my listeners may not, I know that this just tracks with everything that you have done so far in your life. It's just a beautiful transition. But for those who may not know what kind of led you down that life leadership path.

Parul (00:06:05) - Absolutely. I think, it actually is a bit of a return to what I was always really passionate about as a child. I loved really thinking about what part of our life is, in a sense, you know, destiny versus within our control and our ability to shape.

Parul (00:06:23) - And I really believe that, like, we can craft what our life is and can become. And yet, you know, as I grew older and went to college, like ended up on a corporate career path like many people do, and spent over 15 years of my career in business, like in management consulting and leading teams at startups. And it was actually a number of experiences that happened in parallel to that journey. partly on the personal side with health struggles and, major curveballs there and also a layoff on the professional side from a job that I was actually really passionate about and had actually been a job of choice I had taken after my health journey, you know, inspired by that in in the way of trying to give meaning to those, health issues and helping others that might be facing similar ones. And so when both of those things happened, I realized a few things. One is that the set of coping mechanisms that is required in one, like a health setback, is actually the same as what's required in another, like a layoff.

Parul (00:07:45) - And it it applies to all aspects of our life and is coachable and learnable. And the second thing was that after my layoff, I was in fact very confused about where do I go from here, because I wanted to continue mission driven work, and it took me some time to, you know, recognize what that might be. But it was because of that, that first revelation that what it takes to thrive in life is actually similar across scenarios. And I wanted to share those with others, teach those to others, and really channel, you know, the meaning I wanted to create from my personal experiences, tie that with the skills I had developed in my professional life, and apply that now to really teaching others the mindsets and tools to create their own fulfilling life.

Debra (00:08:39) - I love that create the mindset and tools to create their own fulfilling life. What a mission statement that is so great, and I can tell that is exactly the path you're on, and all the wonderful work that you are doing in that space and can and will continue to do.

Debra (00:08:55) - I mean, it just seems like you are definitely on a trajectory in your own career path with your with your platform. That is so great, I love it. Yes, I am I'm a I it's awkward to say, but it's your. It's nice to see that you turned, some challenging moments into your life, into doing good for others, instead of maybe coming into yourself, maybe folding in and just kind of like, okay, I don't want to, you know, it's unfair and I don't want to give back right now, but you really, it's inspiring to see that you found strength to say, you know what? Not only am I going to do this for me and my family, but I'm going to pay it forward so and make a difference, hopefully in others lives too. So that's very, very inspiring. Honestly. That's great. And we selfishly get to take advantage of that. Yeah.

Parul (00:09:44) - Right. Well you know I'll.

Parul (00:09:46) - Add to that that so you know, the health setback that I had alluded to earlier was that I had been diagnosed with breast cancer when I was 31 years old, and I had just had my second daughter.

Parul (00:09:57) - I was literally recovering from the C-section when I got my diagnosis. And so there were, you know, definitely a lot happening at that time, a lot to be upset about. And, you know, wonder why me in that whole journey? I think having the. Sort of maybe vision in that journey that I wanted to document the experience real time. Like I actually blogged my sort of diagnostic phase and my treatment journey for about six months in a blog called New New Job, New Baby, New Cancer. And because I had identified for myself that I'd want this blog to be helpful to others who might be going through a similar experience. That clarity actually helped shape my own attitude and perspective towards my own setback. Because instead of just, you know, focusing inwards or focusing on what there is to complain about, I was able to think about, well, you know, how can this be raw and candid in terms of like, there's no sugarcoating the experience. It is hard and there's no denying that.

Parul (00:11:18) - And yet at the same time, there's moments of beauty and there's like, you know, revelations about what's important in life that happened in a journey like that, too. And so knowing that I wanted it to be helpful to others, actually then helped shaped shape and strengthen my own ability to be resilient and, kind of forward moving in the process.

Debra (00:11:43) - Amazing. Gosh yes, I in the in the in the face of all of those challenges, to still find the strength to be there for yourself and for others. Amazing. I can't I can't imagine what that time in your life must have been like. As you, as your title of your blog indicates, new baby. you knew you know, cancer and just the two together in the same title is just makes anyone stop. I would I would have just been reading because I would have learned, okay, this individual knows what it means to have strength, but to also be vulnerable and to understand our weaker moments. So what's this about? You know, so amazing.

Debra (00:12:24) - Amazing. Thank you for sharing that a little bit with us I appreciate that.

Parul (00:12:27) - Yeah.

Debra (00:12:29) - Well, while we're on that same subject, in terms of, you know, making intentional decisions like you chose to in that moment or in that in that chapter of your life, we hear especially as women in the workplace, since this is, you know, sort of what this podcast is about. and we hear quite often that phrase, you know, focus on intentional intentionality, be mindful of making intentional decisions in your life as it pertains to your career specifically. can you help us maybe understand or maybe provide a definition of what does it mean, actually to make intentional decisions? What does that intentional word mean? Or what should we take from it? I know the answer is going to be so subjective. Like everyone's answer, as it should be, is different. but I feel like that word intentional sometimes is such a high, like 30,000 foot kind of umbrella term that I don't know exactly how am I being intentional? I feel like I am like I intentionally went to Starbucks today.

Debra (00:13:35) - I intentionally chose not to engage in this meeting because I don't feel, you know, like I, I feel like that. But then again, I kind of also am not afraid to admit that maybe I don't understand what that fully means either.

Parul (00:13:48) - Yeah. No, I think that's such a great question, because the word intention is definitely thrown around a lot, and it's not necessarily always tied to communication of like, how exactly does one do that? And how do you know if you are, being intentional in quote unquote, the right way?

Debra (00:14:09) - Yes, yes. Thank you. Thank you very Well-put. That's it.

Parul (00:14:13) - So, you know, what I would say to that is, I think of intention as being clarity around what you want a future state to look like or feel like. And so what I mean by that is we might take intentional choices. Right. Like we might choose to take a job offer and think we're being intentional because we're like contemplated the offer and decided yes or no, am I going to do this? But.

Parul (00:14:50) - To be truly intentional around it is actually stepping back even further and thinking about not just do I accept or not accept this job offer, but what do I want my future to look like in terms of like, is it the next year? Or is it the next three years? You know, whatever that time frame is that I want to position it towards and think about how does this job offer fit in my aspired vision for that future state? Because that requires having done more introspection and reflection around a bigger picture. Like, what do I want my, you know, sort of day to day to look like, what do I and. And what do I want my career path to look like? And then therefore, how does this job offer fit into that? How do the set of companies that I was even recruiting for fit into that? Just because these are the same types of companies I may have recruited for in the past five years, doesn't mean that during that time I haven't changed. My priorities haven't changed, my life circumstance hasn't changed such that it's still the right fit for me in the next five years.

Parul (00:16:01) - And so actually being proactive about carving out that time to do that introspection, reflection, but but doing so in the context of looking forward and understanding what you want that sort of new future to look like. And a question. Oh, sorry. Go ahead.

Parul (00:16:25) - Oh no, that's okay.

Debra (00:16:26) - I was just going to comment. You really compliment you. I love that phrase near your near future. That's I've never heard that. That's wonderful. I like that I'm writing that down.

Parul (00:16:34) - Yeah.

Parul (00:16:34) - You know, the the question that I've always asked myself throughout my career journey and also in many personal life situations as well, is what am I optimizing for? And the question what am I optimizing for? Enables me to be intentional because it isn't just about making the decision that's right in front of me, but it's, it requires me to step back and think about, well what is it that I'm valuing right now? What is it that I'm prioritizing right now and in my career journey? Sometimes that prioritization has been all right, well, what's the most, you know, prestigious job offer and well-paying.

Parul (00:17:19) - And, you know, I'm out of college. Like, where am I going to learn the most? at times it's been what's going to give me the most geographic flexibility because, you know, my husband works in New York and I don't want to do long distance forever. Right. that was a certain phase of my life. And at different points in my life, the what I was optimizing for was more around. What's going to be most fulfilling? What's going to be most mission driven? you know, it wasn't about the title or the pay and. That the fact that that the answer to that question has changed so much over the years means that I might have made the wrong choices in my career had I not had that clarity, had I not taken the time to truly answer that question properly. So the two things that I would advise listeners who are wondering, like, well, how do we be intentional? It's, you know, one asking yourself, what is that future state that I am hoping for in terms of experience or how I want to feel in it, what I want my life to look like in that.

Parul (00:18:32) - And secondly, based on that, what is it that I'm optimizing for in the decision that's in front of me, so such that it best serves that future state?

Debra (00:18:48) - It's almost like, I love that. It's almost like taking a holistic approach and and sort of hitting the pause button and saying, okay, think about why are you even job searching in the first place? What are you finding that you're not getting in your current role? Or maybe you are in between roles? And so what are you looking for? For example, in the job search scenario in your next role? Let's not just like pin the tail on the donkey and run around blindfolded and just accept anything. it really like, are you going to start with the recruiter and in your job search, what are you looking for? Really have that like take inventory of what you like. You said your near future, what you want it to look like. What values are you holding right now? What are you making space for in your life? What's where your priorities? And then maybe execute a job search with all of that in mind, that's just a job search scenario.

Debra (00:19:36) - I know there's so many different ways to apply this thinking, but I love that because it seems like it's it is more intentional.

Parul (00:19:42) - No. Absolutely.

Parul (00:19:43) - And and what you'll find and, you know, of course a time is a luxury and not everyone has the, the luxury to to take a lot of time between job offers. but. If one does have the ability to do so. It's pretty incredible how much what you think you wanted can change. So, for example, you know, after my layoff, I felt very lost in terms of like where to go from there in terms of even like what type of industry, what type of work. You know, if you had asked me kind of right after that layoff, I probably would have said, you know, I I'm going to take a little bit of a break and then I'm going to go and recruit for another health care startup. And what I found is that every three months, what I thought I was going to recruit for completely changed.

Parul (00:20:39) - Like I went from knowing I was going to recruit for another health care startup to realizing that actually, you know, maybe it's a it's a health care big company that would be a better fit to realizing that, actually, I really love the ability to have the autonomy and flexibility at this stage in my life. You know, the flexibility to hang out and be available and present with my children at this age when they actually still want to hang out with me. And maybe my bar for, you know, becoming an employee again has has really risen, has really changed. and so it ended up being nine months of a, you know, sort of sabbatical or, or career break, as you may call it, and period of introspection from the point of my layoff to actually deciding to do something new. And it turned out that that something new was going to be to be a self employed speaker and advocate. And that's the work that I do now. And yet nine months earlier would never have articulated that, that that's what's going to be next for me in my career.

Parul (00:21:47) - And it it was only through sort of this introspective and process and passage of time that I realized that that's actually what I'm most excited about.

Debra (00:21:59) - That's amazing. I love that for you. That's. Yes, that is great. And that that is almost textbook on, you know, the on what it means to really sort of what you were just saying. You are you lived it. You did it. You, you moved forward with intentional, you know, with intentionality. and yes, you are. Thank you for correcting me that it isn't always that way for for everybody in terms of oh, I can't that sounds great, Deb, but I need to keep it moving quickly. and, and I, I agree, I've been in that as well. Like, well, you know what? This offer is here and now I'm just going to take it and then I'll figure out the rest later. Because I still have bills to pay. I still have a life, you know. Yeah. so I get that.

Debra (00:22:40) - But if you are in any way able to even, I mean, goodness, even just like a day, you know, just to. Okay, wait for a day. I'm just not going to job search. I'm just going to do a little self inventory and just really see what's driving this right now or what am I looking for? and I think one of the reasons what motivated me to ask you this question, too, was a little self-serving, I will admit. I seem to have had recently many conversations with, other colleagues and peers of mine who are going through some similar transition in their career journey, and they are maybe at the age now, or maybe they have enough experience under the belt now where they're like, you know, I just want to be more strategic and intentional with my next role. and then we get into this kind of conversation that I know Perel would just, like, own the day if she was in, in on it. but it's like, well, what does that look like? What does that mean? What do I mean by that statement? So thank you for kind of clarifying and shedding a little light on that.

Parul (00:23:37) - Yeah, absolutely.

Debra (00:23:39) - Good stuff. I love that because, you know, and I also feel that since 2020, many women are really focusing on that now. Like, okay, 2020 sort of lifted the gate a little bit and gave us all permission to just look at things differently and maybe with a bit more intention and being a bit more strategic and taking more ownership, I guess I should say, of our career path. So.

Parul (00:24:01) - yeah.

Parul (00:24:02) - No, it was it was definitely a forcing function. And, you know, my layoff happened in, at the end of 2018. And I would define that as the forcing function in my life because I don't think I would have naturally.

Parul (00:24:22) - Like.

Parul (00:24:23) - Stepped back in that career. to think about, like, am I actually, you know, working at the company that I want to be working at, like, doing the work that, I might find most rewarding? you know, I was just sort of on the corporate rat race and, you know, loyalty to company and just kind of would have stayed.

Parul (00:24:48) - And so, you know, while it definitely didn't seem like it at the time, you know, it was it was very devastating when I, when I first got laid off. But over time, I began to actually be very thankful for that forcing function, because it did create that space for me to go through this introspective process. And, you know, I think when forcing functions happen, we we don't necessarily appreciate them for what they are at the time. but if we recognize that they could be an opportunity to look at our life and kind of do a bit of an audit and see if there are things that we might want to change, then they could be great opportunities to.

Debra (00:25:31) - So well said. So well said. Yes. Absolutely. That's like that higher level of thinking, that we all, strive to have in those moments. That's so well said. I love that. And you touched on the other topic that I was hoping we'd have a few minutes to to chat about. So beautiful segue into, change.

Debra (00:25:52) - It's the big C word. It's the big change. which there's so much, so much happening. these days, it seems like the last couple of years there's been a lot of change in in organizations and corporations and so many people, you know, doing it on their own. A lot of entrepreneurship starting. There's just a lot going on out there in the work world. and I know you speak a lot to leadership teams, and, but I wonder if we can maybe, ask you maybe for 1 or 2 or maybe some advice as individual contributors, as ICS, how can we help maybe reframe our mindset towards change? especially if it's more of a challenging change at work like, oh, we're facing a reorg or we're facing, you know, unfortunately, maybe some layoffs or reduction in force. There's just some things that are happening that are out of our control that, you know, for reasons maybe known or unknown to us, our leadership teams are like, you know, this is the direction we need to go.

Debra (00:26:52) - It's going to affect some of you or all of you. And when in those moments, can you offer any type of of tips or maybe a mindset aid when we are faced with that type of messaging or those types of like forks in the road, in our career path or along our journey.

Parul (00:27:12) - Sure.

Parul (00:27:13) - I think an important part of it is recognizing that when we're faced with change, especially when it is, you know, unexpected or unwanted change, kind of like a more stressful or adverse event, then how we respond as individuals is, is actually similar to how we respond as organizations as well, which is initially with shock and denial. Right. And so that that roller coaster of emotions that we hear about, you know, like kind of like those five stages of grief for now, like the seven stages of change are a real thing where there are these periods of like shock and denial. And then it's like when reality sets in, there's going to be anger, there's going to be frustration, there might be sadness.

Parul (00:28:04) - And those are just natural stages of this process. Like for some people or in some scenarios or in some organizations, it could last for like hours and days, or it could last weeks and months. And but recognizing that that is going to be an initial reaction, whether it's, you know, by you as that individual or by your team or by your entire company, it's important to be able to acknowledge that to yourself and to others that, like, we understand that this change is unexpected, right? And that this might be shocking and that there's, you know, this preference for things to generally not change in situations, right, when, and that there would have been a preference for things to remain the same. and recognizing that there are going to be people who are upset and there are going to be emotions that you feel and being able to just acknowledge that those are understandable emotions, because those.

Parul (00:29:10) - Sort.

Parul (00:29:10) - Of feelings are necessary to process before that stage of acceptance can actually kick in again, whether that's for the individual or the organization.

Parul (00:29:22) - and, and when those stages of acceptance happen, then it's more of like, okay, like what are new ways of working that we can experiment with, you know, what's working, what's not? How can we sort of make use or make, a positive outcome out of this change? So, for example, you know, in an individual situation, like as someone who had been laid off, like there were weeks where I was I think in that first week, I was definitely just in like kind of shock and denial and trying to have conversations to like, understand what it even happened. And then there was a whole set of weeks of just like a mixture of emotions afterwards. And it took me a long time. It took me, you know, many weeks, if not some months to really start accepting that, like, okay, well, if what has happened can't be changed, then how can I now take ownership of my new normal? What are the opportunities that are created by this? Was I planning to leave my job? No.

Parul (00:30:26) - But now that I have, or now that I, you know, and not in that state of employment, I have this new time available. How can I make the most use of it? What is something that's going to be rewarding that I can now do, that I wouldn't have been able to do if that unwanted change didn't happen?

Debra (00:30:47) - And yeah, I like that.

Parul (00:30:50) - You know, the like I mentioned, I have this sort of nine month period before I launched the work that I do now, and when I launched the the company name, I operate under, the, the work name that I operate under is actually Silver Linings.

Parul (00:31:08) - Oh.

Parul (00:31:09) - And and the reason it's silver linings is not necessarily like the traditional way people look at it or think about it, which is like, oh, you know, go find your silver lining or just look for the silver lining, because that actually sounds very passive to me. It sounds like, okay, if some dark cloud and negative thing happened, that if you just look hard enough or wait around long enough that something positive will emerge from it, I actually believe that we can create our own silver linings.

Parul (00:31:39) - And it takes.

Parul (00:31:40) - Intention and openness to opportunity. When in that dark cloud and when to emerging from that dark cloud, that we can actually create our own positive outcomes. And so even launching this line of work, finding and doing something that feels authentic to me, feels so rewarding to me. Is me actually creating a silver lining out of a layoff that I, you know, definitely didn't expect and definitely wouldn't have chosen back in that moment.

Debra (00:32:16) - Insightful and powerful. Yes, create your own silver.

Parul (00:32:20) - Lining.

Debra (00:32:22) - Out of the circumstance or the challenge that you did. Wow. Yeah.

Parul (00:32:27) - Yeah.

Parul (00:32:27) - You know, and it doesn't mean that we, you know, we don't wish that that thing didn't happen, right? Like, even even my cancer diagnosis, it's like, obviously, if I could have rewound time and, you know, sort of prevented myself from getting that, I would have wanted to, like, undo the experience. But if I recognize and accept what can't be changed in my life and am more looking forward of, how do I now take what is given? And channel it into something that is more positive or meaningful or rewarding in nature, then.

Parul (00:33:09) - There are silver linings I've created even out of that cancer diagnosis.

Debra (00:33:16) - Exactly. And it sounds like those have a ripple effect into other areas of your life, or maybe even into others. Seeing you do this, seeing you make these choices and make these changes. that could be very powerful.

Parul (00:33:29) - Oh, 100%.

Parul (00:33:31) - Yeah. Yeah. Amazing.

Debra (00:33:34) - Excellent advice for sure. Because I think that is the hard way. In a good way like that is like, you know, when you're, you know, when you're sore from working out. I'm sorry, but I'm glad I'm sore because it means I did something, you know, whereas just maybe allowing, you know, not taking any sort of action and letting life happen to you and, and accepting that, is maybe not the best move all the time. You know, sometimes you have no choice. But other times, if there's any way, any way possible, you can maybe take the reins a little bit and have some bring back some control and some positive control.

Debra (00:34:09) - I think I can see the benefits of that for sure. Wow.

Parul (00:34:11) - Yeah, absolutely. And I appreciate that you actually made that reference to just feeling sore, you know, because when when I think about, sort of our resilience or our ability to navigate change and live with intention. All of these things are like a muscle, and it requires exercise to strengthen and build that muscle.

Parul (00:34:39) - Very good.

Parul (00:34:39) - It's not something that we just turn on and off on a on a day to day basis, or to suddenly decide, okay, like I am now going to be intentional or I'm now going to be resilient. It's like we all have the ability to do that, but it is something that we have to exercise in the sort of day to day small choices and small decisions that we make in the small setbacks that we experience and build it over time so that we then have that much more, you know, stamina when facing the bigger changes and setbacks of life.

Debra (00:35:12) - Oh my gosh. Slow clap to that for sure.

Debra (00:35:16) - I thank you for saying that. because so often we hear conversations like this and you're right, we mistakenly at least maybe it's okay. It's just me. you know, you think I've got to be like that starting Monday, and it's like, no, no, you know, it's a it's a long game. You know it is. Thank you for referencing it. That it is. It's a marathon. It's an exercise. You have to kind of exercise that muscle. So very good to remember that. Exactly that. Uhhuh. Yeah. For those who need to hear it. Who those who who believe in the light switch mentality. Not so fast. yeah, but that's good because then it allows you to kind of be more maybe introspective and just make sure you take it as it comes and you're processing it in the way that you want to. So instead of just jumping into, I'm going to be exactly what Perel said starting tomorrow, you know, not necessarily not for everybody, you know?

Parul (00:36:07) - So yeah, I think it also gives you permission to show yourself some self-compassion.

Parul (00:36:16) - Yeah. When you inevitably have those moments or days or situations where you maybe don't feel you're as resilient or as intentional as you might have wanted to be, and it doesn't mean that you don't have the capacity to build that. It just means like you weren't in that moment and you recognize and forgive yourself and be kind to yourself through it. And, you know, just try to do differently the the next time the opportunity comes about.

Debra (00:36:52) - Exactly. Try to do that. That's it. Next time. That's all we can do is now that we know better, do better. And yeah, I love that. It doesn't have to be perfect right at the gate. You might trip, but that's okay. that's all right to, you know, two steps forward, one step back sometimes. So, yeah, I love that self-compassion. Oh, that seems to be, the name of the game these these days, anyway, for many of us. Oh. But, well, Parul, I honestly my goodness, I could keep you on the line so much longer because this is such good information.

Debra (00:37:25) - This is good stuff. And again, as, as women along our career journey, I think this type of messaging, what you're providing is so important for us to keep hearing and keep believing and keep processing and keep accepting because there's too many wolves at the door. I think for us as women in the workplace. And so any time we can maybe put on a little bit of armor, and shield ourselves and maybe those closest to us a little bit to, to just become stronger, both internally and externally. I'm just all for it, especially, from other women, you know, empowering other women. I'm just I celebrate that. So thank you so much. if there are any listeners right now who are like, I want more of this, where can I find Miss Perel? So Amani and see what she's about and learn more about her platform. Where can they find you and learn more about you?

Parul (00:38:13) - Sure. Yes. Well, they can check out my website, which is Paul simone.com. And, the URL designing Silver Linings also points to that same website, if that's easier to remember.

Parul (00:38:29) - and on that they can also sign up for my newsletter if they are interested in any updates or, you know, tips on how they can master their mindset. And they can also follow me on LinkedIn and Instagram. PD Simone is my handle there. for more frequent posts and updates.

Debra (00:38:52) - Fantastic, I love it. Parul Somany speaker inspire and Thriver. If you have not gained that from this conversation, it is just spot on. Oh, such good stuff.

Parul (00:39:06) - Thank you.

Parul (00:39:07) - One one more thing, to add is if, anyone out there it knows of a company or organization or a conference that's looking to bring in speakers or workshop facilitators on these topics, you know, how do you get unstuck? How do you live with intention? And, you know, how do you navigate change and uncertainty and, and really learn to move forward? Then that is the work that I do, and I'd be happy to connect and explore the opportunity.

Debra (00:39:36) - Oh. Thank you. That is fantastic. Yes, thank you for that mention and shout out.

Debra (00:39:41) - And I will also have links to all that Perumal mentioned in the show notes. So please, I strongly encourage you to check out the links in the show notes as well to learn more how you may be able to bring people into your organization. I'm thinking that myself. Actually. We're thinking of planning our next year's All Hands retreat. So I'm thinking, hey, I may just, throw pearls name into the mix here. That would be amazing, because we're dealing with a lot of those topics right now in my organization, so I.

Parul (00:40:08) - Wonder if that stuff.

Debra (00:40:10) - Excellent. Yes. For sure. Again, show links in the show notes, please check out the show notes for ways to connect with people. and before I let you hop off the mic, do you have time for one last bonus question?

Parul (00:40:21) - Of course.

Debra (00:40:22) - Alrighty. Well, as evidenced by this conversation, if you cannot tell, we understand you are a busy lady running your own business and just doing all the things to help us become better human beings in our own ways.

Debra (00:40:38) - so when life gets a little crazy and you find yourself being pulled in many directions, what do you do to help you reset and rebalance and sort of bring it back to center?

Parul (00:40:54) - so there are two things I would mention. one which is a little bit on the nerdy side, and one which is more on the fun side. So on the nerdy side, I really like to do lists. Like it just is.

Parul (00:41:11) - The.

Parul (00:41:11) - Most rewarding thing ever to be able to cross something out. And I feel like when I have. And honestly, I just even did this a couple days ago. This week is like, I just felt like I was having so much going on in my brain that even though I have like a whole to do list system, like in my notes, on my phone, I felt like I just needed to bring out a piece of paper and like, put it all out on paper. And it was actually really helpful for me to just get all of these thoughts that are muddling about in my brain out on paper.

Parul (00:41:45) - not necessarily because, like, I needed one more place to have a to do list, but it was almost just an express line of everything going on in my mind. And so in the same way that when, you know, we are struggling with something or feeling stressed out about something, it's like proven by studies to be very powerful, to just journal, right? Just to write down how whatever it is that you're experiencing is making you feel that is actually therapeutic for you. and so for me, that that took the form of, of a to do list. but the other thing that I would say, which is more of a go to thing, just as like a mood lifter, and kind of re-energize her for me is Bollywood music and like, Bollywood dancing. So like Indian music, Indian dancing, you know, I performed for over 35 years and is also just like this, you know, passion in my life that I now share with my daughters. And so that is always something I can turn to, to kind of feel better about whatever might be happening in that day.

Parul (00:42:58) - Oh, I love that.

Debra (00:42:59) - I love both of them. Oh, I love the dancing. Because to me, that seems very like the physical and emotional and mental just all kind of coming together. I love that it's such a beautiful dance style anyway, so. Oh, lovely. And then I chuckled at your to do list because I feel seen. I absolutely love the feeling that I get when I'm able to scratch off something or check something off. but like you, I, I, I'm a listener. I maybe too much if I go somewhere like a grocery store without one, I'm doomed. I'm like, oh, no. Oh, gosh, what was on that thing? Like, I'm tempted to go back home and get it. but yeah, work wise I have to do lists and anytime I'm like, scratch off. Oh, yay! You know, it's like a little lottery win.

Parul (00:43:44) - All right. Oh, absolutely.

Parul (00:43:45) - You know, and obviously sometimes we just complete something and then realize it wasn't on the to do list.

Parul (00:43:50) - So we add it to the to do list just so we can then immediately cross it off. So guilty of that. Oh.

Debra (00:43:56) - Totally. Absolutely. Oh yes. Thank you. I don't feel yeah. So so different anymore thing. That's it.

Parul (00:44:03) - I have been known to do that. Absolutely.

Debra (00:44:05) - Or put it on a sticky note, cross it off and just leave it out there so I can see. Hey, look, I cross that off.

Parul (00:44:10) - Look how accomplished I am today. Absolutely.

Parul (00:44:13) - Yes.

Debra (00:44:14) - Yes, exactly. Hey, every little W counts, right? They all count.

Parul (00:44:19) - Oh, honestly? Absolutely. And I am all about celebrating the wins and, you know, making the milestones as sort of like achievable as possible just to help, kind of keep us energized and, and recognizing that like we're doing the work.

Debra (00:44:40) - Exactly. Recognize we're doing the work.

Parul (00:44:42) - Exactly.

Debra (00:44:44) - Right. Oh my gosh. Well, parole this has just been amazing. Oh, thank you so much again for taking time out of your schedule and for helping frame a little bit clearly the what it means to be intentional in our decision making and ways we can maybe reframe when faced with some challenging times with or some change at in our in our organization.

Debra (00:45:06) - So I really appreciate you taking the time and chatting with us this afternoon.

Parul (00:45:11) - Yeah, this was great. Thanks again for having me.

Debra (00:45:14) - And that wraps up my amazing conversation with Parul Somany. I would like to extend a huge thank you to Parul for sharing her incredible insights and experiences. Very personal experiences with us. Pearls wisdom on operating from a place of intent and adapting our mindset around change is truly inspiring, and I hope you found our conversation just as empowering as I did. If you are interested in learning more about Perel, just remember the conversation doesn't have to end here. Be sure to check out the show notes for all of the ways in which to connect with Parul and dive deeper into her work. And please note that she is absolutely available to come and speak at organizations or companies, or at your next work retreat or work summit. I think the topics that she covers and her presentation style, her experience, and her whole delivery and demeanor would be fantastic to have in front of a live group, to really share and go there and to explore what it means to work with intent and to a better framework for for working through any challenges or changes that we have in the workplace.

Debra (00:46:30) - So once again, check out the show notes for ways to connect with Parul. You will not be disappointed you did. They are all there. Click on all of the links and you will be introduced to more of the wonderful work that she does. So until next time my friends, please remember stay safe, be well, and remember, keep having those conversations. Keep embracing change and thriving in all aspects of your life. Catch you next week. Thanks for listening.