From Mind Reader to Strategic Anticipator: Hacks for Executive Assistants

Debra Coleman [00:00:10]:
Hello, and welcome back to another episode of Have a Seat, Conversations with Women in the Workplace podcast. Am your host, Deborah core Deborah Coleman. Oh my gosh. House you know what? That's just that is just indicative of how this Year has started. Welcome 2024. My gosh. I am just tripping over myself. Are you like me? I am finally emerged kinda like Puck Punxsutawney Phil.

Debra Coleman [00:00:36]:
Like, I have just finally emerged from underground from the from the from the nice confines, the comfy confines of the holiday malaise. I'm finally like, okay. Rolling up my sleeve. Let's get back to it, which is and one of the things I'm doing in regards to that is recording this mini cast for you. Hello. Those of you who may be a bit new, welcome to the show. Yes. It is an interview style show where every week I interview women who are just killing it out there in the workplace, whether they are, working for somebody, for a company, for an organization, or Go in their own way and be on are on and are an entrepreneur or solopreneur.

Debra Coleman [00:01:16]:
You know what? You guys, this is gonna be a really interesting show. I can't even talk anymore, and I had coffee. Anyway, welcome to the show. Every once in a while, I will grab the mic, from away from my amazing guests, and I will do just this. And it's called what I like to call mini cast, and it's just where I share some thoughts with view that have were either sent to me or that I stumbled across in an article I read or a conversation I had, and this is what I like to do. I like to call them minicast and steal the mic and Have a quick chat with just you and me. So this week is one of those. It's a mini cast.

Debra Coleman [00:01:53]:
It's and this was sent in to me by a Listener, thank you so much. You know, I do I do call outs every now and then. Like, hey. Do you guys have show topic ideas or anything you want me to discuss or Anything that you want me to find an expert in, you know, to do a little bit of more of a deep dive on, by all means, send me some Some interests or or topic ideas, and this was submitted. So thank you so much. So exciting. Supernatural anticipation is the name of the game this week, my friend. Yes.

Debra Coleman [00:02:23]:
Supernatural anticipation as an executive assistant or administrative support Professional. Let's see. Before I begin, I guess, before I go ranting and raving and that's another thing with these mini cast is I tend to get A little ranty, a little ravey, and a little sassy. And, yes, I will drop an occasional f bomb or 2. Just it just happens. I'm I'm human. No apologies there. So I am an executive assistant to a vice president for an online university.

Debra Coleman [00:02:50]:
I have been in higher education for over 20 years, and I've been an executive assistant probably, oh gosh, going on 10 years now. So I know a little bit. You know, as I like to say, I don't have any fancy initials after my name, but I I graduated with masters in honors, from the school of life, especially from the school of being administrative support professionals. So I kinda feel just humbly humbly qualified, to speak on some topics. And so this topic was sent to me by a listener. A supernatural anticipation in terms of being an executive assistant. How Do you what are your thoughts on being able to anticipate what your either your executive or your team or both, you know, that those are the person you support needs before they even ask or before they even know they need it. Okay? So that's fun.

Debra Coleman [00:03:42]:
I love that question. Thank you once again. I I I love submissions. Please keep them coming because I wanna talk about what's relevant or what's top of mind to you. That's really who my show is for is For the listener, you take the time to hit play and have me, you know, steal some airspace from you for a while. And so I I just I I'm honored, and I'm humbled by that. So thank you for listening. And if I can, in any way, pay you back by providing show topics of interest to you, then by all means, let's do the thing.

Debra Coleman [00:04:11]:
So supernatural anticipation as an executive assistant. Good question. First of all, fantastic. My my my. When the first things I don't have I have 3 quick things 3 quick thoughts on this, and I'll try to go through them quickly. My first overarching thought is That is a unspoken, unwritten expectation to those we support is that we will have Supernatural anticipation. I think it goes sometimes without saying that we will eventually turn into that person or eventually get there, Or he maybe hit the ground running with that characteristic trait. It's just the nature of our role I just I firmly believe that.

Debra Coleman [00:04:53]:
It's just the nature of our role. I that may be good news to some. That may be bad news to some. It may be just indifferent. I think for me, it's just a matter of indifference. It's like that's just what we do. You know? It's just that's just a part of it. So I think that's why that question was raised because a lot of us do, have that skill or possess that skill and even wonder if we're even doing it right.

Debra Coleman [00:05:14]:
Right? So if we were sitting down In a cafe or a diner or a restaurant and we were, you know, engaging in dialogue and you asked me this to my face, this is the advice I would honestly still give you. It doesn't matter that I'm sitting here protected behind a microphone and Itunes or Spotify. It's it's honestly what the same dialogue I would have with you face to face. So The first thing I would say to you is, you know, pour yourself some more wine because I got some things to say. But my first knee jerk reaction my knee jerk Answer to that question is and this is a secret that I don't think a lot of you know. So stop what you're doing for a second and listen in. Lean in. Lean in.

Debra Coleman [00:05:55]:
This is a secret. Here it goes. You're not a mind reader first and foremost, my friend. You are not a mind reader. So let's take that heavy burden off your shoulders and just says, let's place it on the ground next to us for a second. Let's just place it on the ground. Let it go. You are not a mind reader.

Debra Coleman [00:06:14]:
Listen. Why do I say that? Because we are not dealing with machinery, tools, Equipment, technology, robots, you know, land. You know? We're not dealing with the we're dealing with leaving living, breathing human be human beings. I told you. I can't talk today. We are dealing with living, breathing human beings. Yes. And so, okay, 80% of the time, Anticipatory, you know, characteristic, your supernatural anticipation? Sure.

Debra Coleman [00:06:51]:
You know? Absolutely. Like I said, it's interwoven in what we do. However, 20% of the time, you're not gonna get it right. Because guess what? The person you're supporting or the team you're supporting, they're not gonna get it right. And we all don't know what we need sometimes from 1 week to the next, 1 month to the next, one day even. I don't. Like, I couldn't even Anticipate what I need every day. You know? That's a really tall order is what I'm trying to say.

Debra Coleman [00:07:15]:
And sometimes we'll be dead on with it. We'll be Got it. Yes. Woo hoo. Called it. I saw that coming 3 months ago, and now it's surfacing. I am a rock star because I did it. Woo hoo.

Debra Coleman [00:07:27]:
And those are amazing moments. Totally. High five yourself. That's awesome sauce. But there are gonna be 20% of the time, there's gonna be Times when you're like, I should've seen that coming. What was I? Oh my god. How come I wasn't paying attention? How come I didn't connect the dots? I should've seen that, And that's okay too. Allow yourself that moment.

Debra Coleman [00:07:46]:
You know? Bang your head against the wall. I do too. You know? I totally get it. You just wanna uh-uh. You know? But then ride it out. Let those emotions pass, and I hope that you would finally land on. But you know what? That's okay. I now that I know better, I'll do better.

Debra Coleman [00:08:02]:
Or you know what? Now I know for next time. I hope that's where you land after, like, berating yourself for 30 seconds. I hope then you are able to pivot into A more forgivable mind frame because we're dealing with human beings. So first and foremost, you are not a mind reader. It's going to happen. You're that you're not going to anticipate something that comes up. And I know the nature of our roles. We feel like we always have to be Johnny on the spot.

Debra Coleman [00:08:26]:
We have to be the predictor. We have to get out our crystal ball, And we have to see things coming 3, 6, 9 months in advance. And I'm telling you, that's wonderful and all and good. And more likely, you are doing that, But you're not perfect, and sometimes you will stumble a little bit and you won't see something, and it will come out of left field. And that's okay. It's a learning opportunity. Okay? So 1st and foremost, you're not a mind reader. Forgive yourself.

Debra Coleman [00:08:51]:
Okay. Second thing, what helps me and in these minicasts, I really try to just Give you my insights into either what I have done personally or what I've seen others do. What I've been a copilot and watching others, I've had front row seats and watching My fellow EAs do this. As I like to say many times, I do not have any initials after my last name, so I'm not standing here preaching to you. Like, I know everything about being an executive assistant or that I know everything about the workplace. I certainly don't, but I feel like I have a master's degree in life. As I said, I've been an executive assistant now for over 10 years, administrative professional for over 20, and so I think I got it. I think I got some things.

Debra Coleman [00:09:30]:
I got some things to say, so I'm not afraid to share. And same with you. I bet if I handed the mic to you, if you were sitting here right next to me, Oh my gosh. The stories you could tell and the wisdom you would share. So I'm nothing special. The and a lot of things I know you know, But I feel like sometimes when somebody else vocalizes it, it just sort of, like, I don't know, justifies or gives you, like, a, Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

Debra Coleman [00:09:53]:
Alright. I'm not alone here, you know, feeling. So that's kind of my my goal with these mini cast is to just kinda be that Friend, you know, that you can have a chat with who will who will go there and say the things out loud that maybe sometimes you wish you could, but you don't want to because I at this stage of my life and career, I could give 2 I could I don't have any more fucks to give. I'm just gonna be honest with you. I'm I'm fresh out. If you look at my basket of fucks, I have none more to give. I have none more to give, so I really I will be that friend who will say what you can't. So my 2nd bit of advice in terms of supernatural anticipation is Try to look at things from a 30,000 foot level.

Debra Coleman [00:10:34]:
That's what helps me. Sometimes when I feel like I'm getting too in the weeds And I'm like, uh-oh. I I'm I'm too in the weeds here. I need to kind of I need to zoom out, you know, kinda like Google Maps or, you know, you just, like, zoom in, zoom out. You know? Zoom in when you know what restaurants are in the area, but zoom out when you wanna know the freeways to get there. Right? So when I need when I feel like I'm zoomed in too much and I'm not catching things, then I I, For me, I what helps is to look at things zoom out. Okay. Wait.

Debra Coleman [00:11:02]:
Wait. Wait. Wait. Let me pull back a minute. What what did what just hap what what happened last month, What's happening this month, and what's coming up next month? Like, that for me, I kinda have to gain I have to bring it back, and bringing it back means zooming out. And that helps me in those moments when I feel like I'm missing things and I should have anticipated things, and I feel like I'm dropping the ball a bit. Like, oh, shoot. That was coming down the pike.

Debra Coleman [00:11:26]:
Why did I catch that? You know? In those moments, if I feel like I'm experiencing one too many of those, Then I tend to zoom out. Look at things from a 30,000 foot level is what I call it. You're not literally looking at things from a 30. I don't know. Maybe you are. Maybe you're traveling, and you're in a plane, and you can do that. But, you know, kinda zoom out a bit. Maybe that's a pro more appropriate terminology.

Debra Coleman [00:11:48]:
That helps me. Okay. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. We operate in the Microsoft 3 65 environment. So, naturally, I have Outlook calendar, And I use that thing like a beast.

Debra Coleman [00:11:58]:
That thing is like my boss actually lives in Breeze by his calendar, and I have learned to do the same. And so I will just pull that calendar out and go, k. Wait. Wait. What did last month look like? What does this month look like? Okay. What does next month look like? For to help me get back to center and to help me feel like I'm taking some control again. So 30,000 foot level. It's gonna look different for everybody.

Debra Coleman [00:12:21]:
That's just what I do, so I am by no means standing up here trying to, like, shake my finger in your face and tell you do it this way. No. It looks different for everybody. Whatever Zoom out means for you, whatever. Look at things from a 30,000 foot level like an eagle eye view. I'm just offering that as a suggestion. That's something that helps me feel like I'm gaining some control again. And then the other tip I have is I whenever I complete a certain task, You will whatever that task is.

Debra Coleman [00:12:50]:
Right? Whether it has to do may whether it's personnel related, purchasing related, maybe it's, you know, setting up a meeting. It's helping with a project or a presentation or it's attending a meeting. Like, whatever it is, like, the 1,000,001 things you do every day. I try to treat more often than not, like, it doesn't pertain to everything I do, but I try to do this, like, maybe, you know, again, 80% of the time. You know, 20%, it doesn't pertain. But most of the time, I try to look at the things that I do in my daily workflow with a 3 60 lens. Like, What I this task a that I'm doing now, is it any way in any way correlation between b and c? Is there any other dots that I need to connect as I complete this? As I'm scheduling this meeting, note notate note the the topic. Note The who who is in it? No.

Debra Coleman [00:13:42]:
You know? Again, who's in it, what they're talking about, all the little all the little goodies that go with that meeting now. Am I gonna have to do something with that meeting afterwards or beforehand? Or, you know, is there like, every that's just a an example. Any tasks that you do or or anything that's a part of your daily workflow, I find what helps me feel like I'm at I am doing a I am Staying on top of things that I'm anticipating is anything I do, if at all possible and if it relates, how does it tie in? What are there any dots that I need to connect that or might be associated with this? And then make note of that or, you know, somehow have it connect back to what you're doing. I find that that really helps. That really, really helps. Especially for me, I transitioned to fully remote. So I'm an executive assistant supporting a vice president in a fully remote role. There is no office I go into.

Debra Coleman [00:14:35]:
I'm not hybrid. I don't nothing. I am completely 100% remote and quite happy. Thank you. So for me, this really, really matters because I don't have the luxury of, like, running down the hall and asking a coworker, hey. I really am sort of alone, but not in a bad sense. You know? It's just that, you know, hey. I'm in my house.

Debra Coleman [00:14:55]:
You know? So I really Have to I feel, this is just me. You know? Nobody has said this. Nobody put this put this on me. The expectation you know? It's all me. This is something I like to see myself do. Is any task that I do, is there more to the story? Is there dots out there that I'm gonna need to connect later? Should I, like, put a reminder on my calendar to circle back on this? Should I circle back with somebody else about this? Should I color code it? Should I flag it? Should you know, there's always something. Right? Maybe. For most things I do, that there might be something else associated with it, whether it's a meeting or a project or something that kinda exit.

Debra Coleman [00:15:34]:
So by thinking that way and, like I said, 80% of what I do, helps me Feel like I'm staying on top of things that helps with that, quote, unquote, supernatural anticipation. So that's That's my thought on on that. Like, how those are just a few things that I do to help me kind of battle back that feeling of, Oh my god. You know? Do I know what's going on? You know, what's going on 3 months from now, 3 weeks from now? You know? Those are just my top level, like, top of mind pieces of advice. But here's the thing. When it comes to if there's any part of this question that of being able to anticipate what my boss needs before they ask, if Any part of that actually speaks to personal runs. Like, if you're more of a if you are in a professional setting and you were Hired as an admin assistant or an executive assistant or office manager, you know, whatever your title, and you find that you are doing a lot of personal errands for this individual. And if any part of that question actually pertains to that, let me just say I don't have any I, My thoughts on that are probably best saved for another show because that I don't want this to go on too long.

Debra Coleman [00:16:48]:
First of all, I disagree with that. I absolutely help my boss with personal stuff. Not a problem. Okay? I do it. It's it's it's not every day, And it's really just one offs. It's really just more of a backup. It's something he's already done. He's already completed, but he's maybe including me in on the communication.

Debra Coleman [00:17:08]:
So that way, he's ever out of pocket, then at least there's somebody else on the planet who has the exact same information, so I can help. Right? That's really what what When I say I do personal, like, tasks for him, that's really what they amount to. I'm just more of a backup plan. Occasionally, yes, I will book a hotel room for him, you know, Or, you know, help him with some airline reservations occasionally. You know, it's not something that's every day. But I know that there's some of you who personal tasks are like a part of your daily workflow. Like, you are leaving the office or or if you're a remote employee, you're leaving your home office or wherever, your mobile office, and you're going to the post office. You're going to pick up dry cleaning.

Debra Coleman [00:17:50]:
You're going to pick up the kids from school. You're going to you know? Wow. If that if if this in any way a part of this question is, is anticipating their personal needs, Unless that was explicitly indicated in your job description and that's what you were actually hired to do, that's one thing. Like, well, in regards to that, I can't I don't have a lot of experience in terms of, like, being someone's personal assistant, so you'd probably be better off asking someone who does. But from an outsider's point of view, I would just think maybe the longer you work with them in that capacity, the more your skills will build because you're starting to learn more about them. You're getting to know them and their family better. And therefore, As time marches on, your anticipatory you know, your supernatural anticipation increases, like, it's stronger because you're getting to know them better on a personal level. If you are in a professional setting doing personal tasks that just sort of morphed, You know, like, a one off.

Debra Coleman [00:18:53]:
Oh, can you just run and pick up my dry cleaning for me? I'm so sorry to have to ask you. But now that has escalated into that's an expectation of you to do every week, Or those personal tasks are now, like, interwoven in what you do. I take real exception to that. That is not why you were hired. Maybe it was. But, if that has slowly turned into what you do, And now a part of that question is, I don't know how to anticipate what he personally needs. I think it's time for a come to Jesus moment, And I think you need to hook up with 1 some of these amazing executive assistant career coaches out there and connect with me, and I can refer Quite a few to you because there are some amazing women out there who are doing this, men and women, honestly. There's something wrong there is what I'm trying to tell you.

Debra Coleman [00:19:38]:
I don't agree with that. And if if you are falling down in the duties that you were actually hired to do because these personal needs are are getting in the way of you being the professional executive assistant you were hired to be, There's that's an issue. That's an issue. So please connect with me if you in any way are struggling in that way, and I will get you in as I said, with some amazing coaches who can help you process this and talk it through, who actually are trained to have conversations like this with you because I will come at you as a girlfriend. I won't come at you as a trained professional to help answer that question. So if that's the kind of advice you're looking for, You know, hit me up. We'll have a quick video chat, and then we'll get down and dirty about it. But if you're looking for somebody to give you some professional guidance with some grace And, you know, etiquette, let me know, and I can definitely connect you because that's a problem.

Debra Coleman [00:20:27]:
That to me that to me is stunting your career growth. That is stunting your just your growth period. So I don't agree with that. So if any part of that question is, That's all well and good, Deb. I get what you're saying in terms of the business support, but I also have to run errands for him. And I can't anticipate What he wants for lunch, what he wants for dinner, when to get his dry cleaning, when to pick up his kids, when I'm sorry. Don't you have a 9 to 5? What are you doing running to the post office? Like, what is what, as a regular part of your job, I'm saying one offs are fine. I do that.

Debra Coleman [00:21:00]:
I would do that. I did that. You know? Like, Can you please of course. I don't mind doing that. You're helping. You're a kind human being. That's totally fine to do on occasion or, you No. As as they come up, that's totally fine.

Debra Coleman [00:21:11]:
I don't I'm not saying that. What I'm talking about is if it's interwoven into what you do every day. You are incorporating personal tasks for somebody. That's what I take exception to. So that being said, supernatural anticipation, those are just some of my top 3, first, you're not a mind reader. Give yourself some space and grace. Second, try to look at things if at all possible in your world, your professional world, from a 30,000 foot eagle eye view, when you start to feel like you're getting buried and you can't see what's coming up, Take a moment and zoom out. Sometimes that helps me.

Debra Coleman [00:21:47]:
And then my last piece of advice, any tasks that you do, anything that you do in your workflow, anything you're Asked to do anything that's a part of what you do every day, try to look at it from a 3 sixty view. Like, how does this connect? Will this come back later? Do I need to follow-up on this? How does this actually because everything we do, I think, at a certain level, especially if your title is executive assistant, Almost everything you do is connected to something else. I think it's rare that you're gonna just have, like, a one off. Mean, you will have one off tasks that really have nothing to do with anything. They're just like, you know, oh, this is like a just a quick standing meeting to talk about a certain subject that really won't come up again. You know? But a lot of what we do does, like, connect to something. It is in relation to something. And so that was my last piece of advice is just think of Really try to remember, and I'm sure you're already doing it, but really try to remember in those moments where you feel like you're not anticipating and you're losing control a little bit That oh, wait.

Debra Coleman [00:22:43]:
Wait. Wait. Okay. One thing that helps me is how does it connect? Look at this not just as a one off task, but there's gotta be it obviously connects with something else, And that kinda helps me feel like, okay. I'm I'm I'm seeing what's coming up. I'm I'm connected it to something. I feel better about tracking this, about Future follow ups, that sort of thing. So that's my advice for supernatural anticipation.

Debra Coleman [00:23:06]:
I know. I know. It I'm not look. My mini cast are just This. It's turn on the mic, hit the red record button, and start blabbing. I am not refined. I am not I I you know? I just I dropped the occasional Colorful language. I talk to you as a friend.

Debra Coleman [00:23:22]:
There are a lot of people out there, trainers and coaches, who are absolutely lovely. They are beautiful human beings who truly whose mission is to help us and lift us up and help us see our amazing talent and have us rise to that level, And they are doing a fantastic job. I am not one of them. I am that girlfriend that you can have kind of some real conversations with, as I said, because I don't have any more f's to give at this point. You know? I'm 52 years old. I don't mind sharing that with you. I've been in this game for 20 years and plus. So I really am past the whole what will they think of me game, and I'm more about, like, You as a person, how are you thriving? How are you getting through? How are you processing? You know? I know you are amazing, and I want you to see that too.

Debra Coleman [00:24:11]:
That's really at the point. I want I want to share that, and I want to kind of, I don't know, maybe pass it forward, because it's taken me a long time to get to that level of thinking, really has, honestly. And so I want to pay it forward. That was what I was trying to say, and and just extend that to you. So that's why sometimes do come across kinda sassy, kinda brassy, but that's okay because That's the kind of show I have. If you're looking for something a bit more polished, again, hit me up, and there are some beautiful EA coaches and trainers and thought leaders who have Full remarkable podcasts that aren't as offensive as mine. Okay. So with that being said, well, That wraps up our show.

Debra Coleman [00:24:54]:
That wraps up our show and or my episode, excuse me, of this week, this mini cast. So you are free to click off. But as always, I want to quickly call your attention to the show notes if you are so inclined where you will find a link to the Have A Seat website, where you will find a contact me link. Feel free to use that to send me some more topic ideas for future mini cast shows or topic ideas that you would like for me to find an expert in who can We go there with us and give us some professional advice and not just the off the cuff girlfriend type advice. I'm happy to do that. Absolutely. Or if you are so inclined, click that Register to be a guest link, come on the show, and we'll talk together, which is even more exciting. Love it.

Debra Coleman [00:25:33]:
Love it. Love it. So With that being said, my quote this week, you know, I like to try to end on a quote is, don't limit your challenges, Challenge your limits. Love that. Love that. That is actually unknown. So I can't tell you who said that. If you know who said Let me know.

Debra Coleman [00:25:50]:
But, don't limit your challenges. Challenge your limits. Beautiful. I think that's a wonderful quote to start the 2024 off. Fabulous. Well, that will do it. I'll let you go. Thank you for sharing your your time with me today.

Debra Coleman [00:26:06]:
And as always, stay safe, be well, and remember, keep having those conversations.